@Ahiku I'M LAUGHING SO MUCH though I have to tell you when I worked at Target and ended up working alone in the grocery department checking expiration dates, once I was in the groove of doing the task, that's AAAALLLLLL I'd think about. Just NezuShi... stuff.
I just remembered once a guy approached me in the pharmacy section and asked me a question really quietly and I have bad hearing so I repeated it back to make sure I heard right, so I said "the condoms?" and he quickly shook his head and was like "no, the condiments!" I took him over to the food section and showed him (it was the very first aisle) but I'm sort of convinced he was actually asking where the condoms were and freaked out when I said it louder. You can't fool me, random customer... What was he doing in the health department if he was looking for ketchup, anyway?