No.6 Discussion Board

West Block => Nezumi's Underground Room => Topic started by: Vox on May 11, 2014, 11:28:30 pm


Title: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on May 11, 2014, 11:28:30 pm
I don't often see poetry in this fandom. In fact, I've seen next to none. If any of you all have some No. 6-inspired poetry to share, please do it! I need some inspiration.

For starters *self-promotion time*, here's one I wrote: Read it on Tumblr (http://vox-clamantis-in-deserto.tumblr.com/post/74775585879/i-am-the-east-wind-i-am-the-east-wind-and-you-are) or read it on DeviantART (http://akumeoi.deviantart.com/art/I-Am-The-East-Wind-No-6-fan-poem-429999190).
Hope you all like. ouo
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on May 12, 2014, 11:18:53 am
Hi Vox! ^^
I like your poem, it's really cute. But may I ask why you didn't continue the rhyme scheme you've used in the first two strophes?

Ah, btw. I also have written a poem for my very first Nezumi x Shion fanfiction.
Nezumi used to sing it for his audience when he wandered and needed money. XD

Quote
A solitary star is twinkling far away,
While wandering beneath the glowing moonlit sky,
An urban silhouette appears in my mindís eye,
A distant place which isnít meant for me to stay.

Bright mountains and rivers, wild forests and the seaÖ
Oh, lovely vagrant life along the beaten paths,
Whereas I am diverging from my foretimeís wraths,
At times I wonder if youíre still awaiting meÖ

The meandering wayís ablaze with sunset glow,
Wild asters and snowdrops awake longing in meÖ
Distracted heart; oh whyís my soul in agony?
Recalling the vow weíve made a long time ago.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on May 12, 2014, 12:10:06 pm
I did continue the rhyme scheme. Sort of. Patience/embrace. I initially had the "so" at the end of the embrace line because I felt it had a rhythm that way, but looking at it again, I guess I prefer to make the rhyme more obvious. Changed that. thanks =)
It was initially supposed to be a sonnet anyway, but then I remembered my structured poetry skills are pretty mediocre and couldn't stretch it to a final couplet. Oh well.

Ahhhhh, yours sounds so literary. I aspire to write like that ^^;;;
Plus it sounds in character? Always hard to do. Emotional poetry from someone else's perspective is just hard. :I
"Cynthia" sky? Is that a reference to something?
Same with the snowdrops. Ugh, I absolutely love symbolism. I don't know if you looked at the Tumblr or the DA version of my poem, but the DA one basically explains all the symbols I put into mine... although I'd say they're fairly obvious, really. X3
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on May 13, 2014, 12:39:35 pm
They're wonderful - both are really wonderful ...

Would it be okay to post links to poems that reminded me of No.6 too? Then I would have one (http://po3ms.tumblr.com/post/66867602104/nightmares-are-dreams-too).
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on May 13, 2014, 01:02:29 pm
@lawlya ahhh nooo your link is broken! :(
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on May 13, 2014, 03:15:51 pm
@Vox: You're welcome. ^^  It's good that it's more obvious now. Do you want to write more poems?

Ah... cynthia is a poet. word for moon. At least when I'm allowed to believe in this translation homepage:
Leo.org - Moon (http://dict.leo.org/#/search=cynthia&searchLoc=0&resultOrder=basic&multiwordShowSingle=on)

But I'm not sure... o.o Maybe there's one of our native English speakers who could confirm if it's really ok to use this word like that. ^^į I just thought it would sound nice to use it in a poem.

EDIT: Sorry... I didn't know that you are a native speaker... I also though you're from France concerning one of your other posts. o.o So maybe the website is just wrong then.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on May 13, 2014, 03:59:47 pm
@Ahiku I've solved the mystery of Cynthia... that's another name for the goddess Dianna/Artemis, the moon huntress. I didn't know that because I prefer the original Greek names. So I think you didn't really use it right? ^^; But at least we learned something...

Yes, of course I want to write more poems. I've been trying to work on another sonnet for months now, and it's absolutely not cooperating XD I think I have to give up and try something else. My usual style is free-verse, which I should probably stick too, because I feel like it'd work better...
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on May 13, 2014, 04:10:54 pm
Ohhh, that's good to know. o.o Thank you.
I found another solution now. ^^ I guess this should work now and I hope there aren't other mistakes in it. (>,<)

Oh yeah, when you're not able to go on, just try something else. Sometimes it's easier to start something new. Maybe you'll be able to finish that uncooperative one when you had a little break and when you were able to write another poem successfully. Good luck. ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on May 17, 2014, 10:56:47 am
God, I don't get updates so here's the link (http://lawlya.tumblr.com/post/66907870182) where I reblogged it xD Sorry for the late reply >.>

I didn't know she deleted her account ... What a shame D:
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on June 01, 2014, 08:28:32 am
Well, it's been a while since anyone's commented on here, but if anyone is still reading this thread, I'm about to break all of your hearts.
http://elanra.tumblr.com/post/87488609942/romantic-whether-he-likes-it-or-not  <-- this post on Tumblr made me think of a poem that would fit the situation described in the little comic-strip thingy perfectly. Here:

http://overlycreativewriting.wikispaces.com/Even+as+I+Hold+You

If you imagine that the eye colour is described as grey or red or even as Safu brown... it fits them all pretty well, don't you think?


This is one of my favourite poems of all time. And it's so freaking tragic.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 04, 2014, 07:38:25 pm
Okay, I know this topic has been inactive for ages, so I thought maybe I would sort of bring it back? I had to write a sonnet for my creative writing class, and it ended up being inspired by Nezumi and the West Block... so I thought I would post it here and see what you guys thought. I might post it on my blog later, but I'm not sure about it ^^;

It's called "Artist and Illusion"

A graceful artist claims a spot lit stage
weaving tales of woe and wonder for all,
a thirst for beauty his words assuage,
giving brief respite for a life banal.

With simple motion and a soothing voice,
all cares swept away on a gentle breeze
allowing even the lost to rejoice;
a fleeting reprieve from their ill at ease.

But someday this song will come to itís end;
the bright light will dim, the colors will fade
and what hope is left when we canít pretend?
If only from the truth we had not strayed.

With this song, a passing peace may be known;
petals of spring painted with words alone.   
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on November 04, 2014, 10:32:22 pm
@this-is-our-truth DUDE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR WHEN I STARTED THIS THREAD AND THAT POEM IS THE BOMB

Thanks for sharing!!

Sonnets are so hard to write, it just kills me ;A;
I've been trying to write a certain sonnet for over six months now, and it still won't come. I can't wait for the day when it's completed omg

Gog I can't stop re-reading your poem
*super jealous* XD

The last stanza and the ending couplet really hit hard...
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on November 05, 2014, 02:02:59 am
@this-is-our-truth

Ohhh, this is beautiful! o,o
(And it's so great when you can do something for school that has something to do with No. 6 ^^)
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 05, 2014, 02:15:24 pm
@Vox: Thanks! ^///^ I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I was super nervous about posting it ^^;

Sonnets are really hard, but I really love writing them for some reason... I might write another one at some point soon. I wish you the best of luck on yours!!

@Ahiku: Thanks so much! ^^
(It is fantastic to be able to do that... and my creative writing teacher is letting me write the No. 6 fanfic that I've been wanting to write as my project, so you guys will be seeing that soon too!)
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on November 05, 2014, 03:16:47 pm
@this-is-our-truth

Cool *-* You're teacher is great! XD I'm looking forward to reading it.
I envy you quite a bit. :3 We never had creative writing in school. Or...let's say it was pretty rare. I remember 2-3 times we were allowed to write a short story. Always just analyses and interpretations. x.x
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 05, 2014, 03:25:04 pm
@Ahiku: I really do like my teacher! I've never had someone like her.
I never had a class like this when I was in high school, but the one I'm in is a class at my college especially for creative writing. We have a department of classes for poetry and fiction writing... it's actually one of the reasons I chose this school ^^ 
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 24, 2014, 07:11:01 pm
Ah... I feel awkward commenting on this post twice in a row, but here goes!

I'm not sure how many of you have read the sonnet I posted on here earlier (probably a good number of you), but I kind of wanted to write another No. 6 inspired poem... the only problem is that I can't really think of another one to write. So I thought maybe I could ask you guys for inspiration/requests? I could do another sonnet, or something else if you would like. So...um, please?   
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on November 24, 2014, 07:50:43 pm
I should not be online right now bye

Here are things that I can think of that might help inspire my poetry. I don't know if they'll help you, but maybe!
1. pick a motif in the story and see what new things you can get out of it. make an image into a relationship symbol. Like, the mice, the superfibre scarf, shion's hair, the sky (they mention that a lot), the forest (there's a quote about how nezumi's like a forest, and the further in you go the more mysterious he gets), the cherry cake, the thunderstorm, the wall, the wind, a colour like grey or red, etc.
2. try and re-create a mood in a verse. what do you think their peaceful evenings are like, their hectic days?
3. just listen to **** tonnes of music
4. imagine how the story would have been different if one small choice had or hadn't been made, or if one small coincidence occurred. how would the characters feel about it? what would or wouldn't change between them? (idk i just really like the thought of other possibilities and different timelines and things)
5. alternatively, what would be constant across universes/timelines no matter what??

I guess it's just a matter of zeroing in on one motif or topic or mood or moment that interests you.
Yeah... that's all the advice I got. Sorry. ^^;;
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 24, 2014, 10:30:01 pm
@ Vox: Ah, thanks a lot, actually! I'll definitely have to keep these in mind! ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on November 25, 2014, 12:02:52 pm
@this-is-our-truth
Hmmm... I'd like to read a poem that describes Eve's beauty. :3
Or maybe a poem about nature when Nezumi is wandering.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on November 26, 2014, 08:57:10 am
@this-is-our-truth: So, Ahiku mentioned I should ask you and I thought it would be a good idea xD

I want to write a fanfic for New Year's Eve with Nezumi standing on the balcony of Karan's Bakery during the fireworks and singing. Problem is: I need something like a songtext. To put it into the fanfiction :) I'd say something about fireworks and new beginnings or anything that comes to your mind about New Year and Nezumi or No.6, really xD

Only if you like to do it of course ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 26, 2014, 09:28:46 pm
@ lawlya

Ahhh, sorry! I tried to respond to this earlier, but I think my reply got deleted!

I think your idea sounds fantastic! I would love to help!!  :3  It might take me about a week and a half to have the chance to do it though, since next week is my last week of classes, and then it is an exam week from hell.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on November 27, 2014, 07:50:18 am
Don't worry about the time :) I wrote the whole thing today but don't know how it turned out until I edit it tomorrow. I can wait for it ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on November 27, 2014, 09:01:12 am
Okay! Yeah, I would be more than happy to help then! ^^
I'll probably write it as a celebration of finishing exams XD
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on December 15, 2014, 12:07:53 am
@ lawlya: Hey! I'm finally finished with finals, so was going to write that song for you! :)
First, I just wanted to ask if there are any other details you could tell me about your fic, so that maybe I could make the song fit the story a bit more?
Otherwise, I can definitely come up with something more general. Just wanted to ask before I got started ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on December 15, 2014, 05:26:09 am
You can even read it :) I'm drafting it right now and I'm publishing the link on the 'Holy Day Event'-thread ^^ I filled the spaces where your lyrics would be with lyrics from another song so if that destroys your creativity and such, don't read them xD

Thank you again for writing something; I'm sure it's gonna be awesome >w<
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on December 15, 2014, 02:02:46 pm
Ah, thanks! I found it in the drafts, but when I click the "Read More" it says "url not found" ^^

It's no problem! I'm going to have a lot of fun with this!!
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on December 15, 2014, 02:22:18 pm
That's ... odd. It works for me if I click on the right upper corner ... Try it with this? If not, I'm gonna send it to you via Private Message :)
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on December 15, 2014, 03:34:08 pm
That worked! Thanks! I'm off to read and write now ! :3
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on December 16, 2014, 08:00:24 am
Hm, I just followed the link Lawl had posted in the Holy Day Event thread. o.o It works just fine.
(But when I go to the drafts and use "click more" I also get the message "url not found". XD Weird.)

(Oh, but clicking in the upper corner helps. Didn't know that. X'D Ahhh!)
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on December 26, 2014, 04:09:41 am
oooookay, so, @lawlya: I know the fic you wanted the song written for is supposed to be posted later today (I think?) and I am running super late!! But if you still want the song, I was finally able to write one! If you don't see this on time or you don't want to use it, that's fine. I'm late on everything right now, ugh.

I tried to get some of my inspiration from the songs in Flowers for Beautiful Days. So, here it is:

A new year is dawning
the wind is chill
but the stars are shining bright

Come, come and join our song,
let us begin this new year together
with hope in our hearts tonight.

This is a time of celebration
to bid the year farewell,
the time has come to close the door
where old memories dwell.

This is a time for memories,
so hold your loved ones close
to remember the journey so far,
and look forward to those to come.


Come, come and join our song,
the winds of time have blown,
another year has gone.
Tonight, we bid you farewell,
and welcome a bright new future. 
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Ahiku on December 26, 2014, 05:20:08 am
Ohhh, this is so nice. *-*
I like your poetry. It's wonderful and a perfect end for our celebration week. ^^

(Ah, just one little typo: big you farewell.) :D I guess you mean bid.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: lawlya on December 26, 2014, 05:38:10 am
It's so beautiful and perfect and you're on time, don't worry *w* The fanfic is for the last day of our Holy Celebration Week and I'm gonna use this asap.
Thank you so much >w<
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on December 26, 2014, 09:21:37 am
Ahh what a lovely poem >w<
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: this-is-our-truth on December 26, 2014, 02:17:08 pm
@lawlya: Thank goodness I wasn't late ^^; I'm so glad you like it! ^ω^
And it's no problem, I enjoyed writing it

@Ahiku: Thank you!

Ah, and yes, I did mean bid. Ooops. I fixed it. Thanks!

@Vox: Thanks ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Meopat on March 02, 2015, 09:37:34 am
Oh man, it's been months, buuuut there's a Nezushi poem that I can't not share.
Technically, it's not formally a Nezushi poem and I take no credit for it, but everything about it just seems to fit so perfectly. ;__;

http://allpoetry.com/poem/1751347-Like-a-Moth-to-a-Flame-by-whispersoftly (http://allpoetry.com/poem/1751347-Like-a-Moth-to-a-Flame-by-whispersoftly)

also, I am absolutely in love with all the poems that have been shared thus far. D:
I loved the imagery in Vox's I Am the East Wind and the love that it screams. would you mind if I reblogged it on tumblr
Ahiku's was so beautiful and poetically tragic that I clutched my heart in pain.
I also really liked "Artist and Illusion," how you can truly see the artist and his illusion, and how the tone of the sonnet changes with a simple "But." It really felt like I was being swept along by Eve's performance and then it ended and I'm back in my apartment again. *sigh*

I have next to no literary skills for poetry, but it's so clear that in all the poems each word was chosen with utmost care and not a single line was wasted. Thank you for sharing these!! ^^
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on March 02, 2015, 12:24:47 pm
@Meopat thank you for sharing that lovely poem.

Also, would I -mind- if you reblogged my poem on Tumblr? Would I MIND? I would love it! Thank you so much <3 ;w;
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: nezushisushi on April 06, 2015, 08:11:02 am
Just a random thing I wrote for my English villanelle assignment (I make an effort to incorporate fandom into schoolwork)

Now Iím held captive while you wander free.
Why did you leave me on that fateful day?
Will you remember to return to me?

The dog, the rat, the snake were us three,
But you, the rat, left on your merry way.
Now Iím held captive while you wander free.

Your journey is shrouded with mystery
Nothing I said could convince you to stay
Will you remember to return to me?

Are you somewhere, seeing sights of glory
With irises of captivating grey?
Now Iím held captive while you wander free.

Regrowing my life like a branching tree,
a lingering question plagues me every day:
Will you remember to return to me?

I step away with waning energy,
Desperately willing thoughts of you away
now Iím held captive while you wander free,
Will you remember to return to me?
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: Vox on April 06, 2015, 12:21:42 pm
Oh dang you better get a good grade on that one because it's pretty freakin' awesome ;3

And by awesome I mean sort of tragic :'(

Villanelles are really hard to write. I've never done one before myself, so kudos.
Title: Re: Nezushi poetry
Post by: nezushisushi on April 07, 2015, 08:21:39 am
Thank youuuuu~~!!! It was supposed to be tragic, like, starting from anger, to longing, to resignation.