Author Topic: Nezushi poetry  (Read 1451 times)

Vox

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Nezushi poetry
« on: May 11, 2014, 11:28:30 pm »
I don't often see poetry in this fandom. In fact, I've seen next to none. If any of you all have some No. 6-inspired poetry to share, please do it! I need some inspiration.

For starters *self-promotion time*, here's one I wrote: Read it on Tumblr (http://vox-clamantis-in-deserto.tumblr.com/post/74775585879/i-am-the-east-wind-i-am-the-east-wind-and-you-are) or read it on DeviantART (http://akumeoi.deviantart.com/art/I-Am-The-East-Wind-No-6-fan-poem-429999190).
Hope you all like. ouo

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Ahiku

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2014, 11:18:53 am »
Hi Vox! ^^
I like your poem, it's really cute. But may I ask why you didn't continue the rhyme scheme you've used in the first two strophes?

Ah, btw. I also have written a poem for my very first Nezumi x Shion fanfiction.
Nezumi used to sing it for his audience when he wandered and needed money. XD

Quote
A solitary star is twinkling far away,
While wandering beneath the glowing moonlit sky,
An urban silhouette appears in my mind’s eye,
A distant place which isn’t meant for me to stay.

Bright mountains and rivers, wild forests and the sea…
Oh, lovely vagrant life along the beaten paths,
Whereas I am diverging from my foretime’s wraths,
At times I wonder if you’re still awaiting me…

The meandering way’s ablaze with sunset glow,
Wild asters and snowdrops awake longing in me…
Distracted heart; oh why’s my soul in agony?
Recalling the vow we’ve made a long time ago.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2014, 04:06:03 pm by Ahiku »

Vox

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2014, 12:10:06 pm »
I did continue the rhyme scheme. Sort of. Patience/embrace. I initially had the "so" at the end of the embrace line because I felt it had a rhythm that way, but looking at it again, I guess I prefer to make the rhyme more obvious. Changed that. thanks =)
It was initially supposed to be a sonnet anyway, but then I remembered my structured poetry skills are pretty mediocre and couldn't stretch it to a final couplet. Oh well.

Ahhhhh, yours sounds so literary. I aspire to write like that ^^;;;
Plus it sounds in character? Always hard to do. Emotional poetry from someone else's perspective is just hard. :I
"Cynthia" sky? Is that a reference to something?
Same with the snowdrops. Ugh, I absolutely love symbolism. I don't know if you looked at the Tumblr or the DA version of my poem, but the DA one basically explains all the symbols I put into mine... although I'd say they're fairly obvious, really. X3

lawlya

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2014, 12:39:35 pm »
They're wonderful - both are really wonderful ...

Would it be okay to post links to poems that reminded me of No.6 too? Then I would have one.

Vox

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2014, 01:02:29 pm »
@lawlya ahhh nooo your link is broken! :(

Ahiku

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2014, 03:15:51 pm »
@Vox: You're welcome. ^^  It's good that it's more obvious now. Do you want to write more poems?

Ah... cynthia is a poet. word for moon. At least when I'm allowed to believe in this translation homepage:
Leo.org - Moon

But I'm not sure... o.o Maybe there's one of our native English speakers who could confirm if it's really ok to use this word like that. ^^° I just thought it would sound nice to use it in a poem.

EDIT: Sorry... I didn't know that you are a native speaker... I also though you're from France concerning one of your other posts. o.o So maybe the website is just wrong then.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2014, 04:13:57 pm by Ahiku »

Vox

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2014, 03:59:47 pm »
@Ahiku I've solved the mystery of Cynthia... that's another name for the goddess Dianna/Artemis, the moon huntress. I didn't know that because I prefer the original Greek names. So I think you didn't really use it right? ^^; But at least we learned something...

Yes, of course I want to write more poems. I've been trying to work on another sonnet for months now, and it's absolutely not cooperating XD I think I have to give up and try something else. My usual style is free-verse, which I should probably stick too, because I feel like it'd work better...

Ahiku

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2014, 04:10:54 pm »
Ohhh, that's good to know. o.o Thank you.
I found another solution now. ^^ I guess this should work now and I hope there aren't other mistakes in it. (>,<)

Oh yeah, when you're not able to go on, just try something else. Sometimes it's easier to start something new. Maybe you'll be able to finish that uncooperative one when you had a little break and when you were able to write another poem successfully. Good luck. ^^

lawlya

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2014, 10:56:47 am »
God, I don't get updates so here's the link where I reblogged it xD Sorry for the late reply >.>

I didn't know she deleted her account ... What a shame D:

Vox

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2014, 08:28:32 am »
Well, it's been a while since anyone's commented on here, but if anyone is still reading this thread, I'm about to break all of your hearts.
http://elanra.tumblr.com/post/87488609942/romantic-whether-he-likes-it-or-not  <-- this post on Tumblr made me think of a poem that would fit the situation described in the little comic-strip thingy perfectly. Here:

http://overlycreativewriting.wikispaces.com/Even+as+I+Hold+You

If you imagine that the eye colour is described as grey or red or even as Safu brown... it fits them all pretty well, don't you think?


This is one of my favourite poems of all time. And it's so freaking tragic.

this-is-our-truth

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2014, 07:38:25 pm »
Okay, I know this topic has been inactive for ages, so I thought maybe I would sort of bring it back? I had to write a sonnet for my creative writing class, and it ended up being inspired by Nezumi and the West Block... so I thought I would post it here and see what you guys thought. I might post it on my blog later, but I'm not sure about it ^^;

It's called "Artist and Illusion"

A graceful artist claims a spot lit stage
weaving tales of woe and wonder for all,
a thirst for beauty his words assuage,
giving brief respite for a life banal.

With simple motion and a soothing voice,
all cares swept away on a gentle breeze
allowing even the lost to rejoice;
a fleeting reprieve from their ill at ease.

But someday this song will come to it’s end;
the bright light will dim, the colors will fade
and what hope is left when we can’t pretend?
If only from the truth we had not strayed.

With this song, a passing peace may be known;
petals of spring painted with words alone.   

Vox

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2014, 10:32:22 pm »
@this-is-our-truth DUDE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR WHEN I STARTED THIS THREAD AND THAT POEM IS THE BOMB

Thanks for sharing!!

Sonnets are so hard to write, it just kills me ;A;
I've been trying to write a certain sonnet for over six months now, and it still won't come. I can't wait for the day when it's completed omg

Gog I can't stop re-reading your poem
*super jealous* XD

The last stanza and the ending couplet really hit hard...

Ahiku

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2014, 02:02:59 am »
@this-is-our-truth

Ohhh, this is beautiful! o,o
(And it's so great when you can do something for school that has something to do with No. 6 ^^)

this-is-our-truth

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2014, 02:15:24 pm »
@Vox: Thanks! ^///^ I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I was super nervous about posting it ^^;

Sonnets are really hard, but I really love writing them for some reason... I might write another one at some point soon. I wish you the best of luck on yours!!

@Ahiku: Thanks so much! ^^
(It is fantastic to be able to do that... and my creative writing teacher is letting me write the No. 6 fanfic that I've been wanting to write as my project, so you guys will be seeing that soon too!)

Ahiku

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Re: Nezushi poetry
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2014, 03:16:47 pm »
@this-is-our-truth

Cool *-* You're teacher is great! XD I'm looking forward to reading it.
I envy you quite a bit. :3 We never had creative writing in school. Or...let's say it was pretty rare. I remember 2-3 times we were allowed to write a short story. Always just analyses and interpretations. x.x