Author Topic: Nezumi's feelings on Shion's loss of innocence  (Read 162 times)

Vox

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Nezumi's feelings on Shion's loss of innocence
« on: May 12, 2014, 01:37:55 pm »
Hereís my take on Nezumi simultaneously wanting and not wanting Shion to be innocent. I see a lot of contradictions in Nezumi's actions in the novel, especially regarding Shion. For example, in the scene where they have an argument and then books fall on both of them, Nezumi asks if Shion is okay, even though they were both just yelling at each other.

I think that Nezumi hates Shionís innocence because he thinks itís unrealistic and because he, Nezumi, is no longer innocent and will never be innocent again. He hates that Shion is able to remain relatively innocent while living the harsh life the two share; it probably makes him feel worse about himself, like heís defective or something. On the other hand, Shionís innocence must be a ray of light to him, because the things that Shion says are so hopeful. If Shion can maintain his innocence even after seeing all the terrible things that are in the Correctional Facility, that would mean that a) he really is as good of a person as he wants Nezumi to believe he is, and b) goodness can exist in the world in spite of all odds. That must be a tempting thought for someone who believes the worst in everyone, including himself. But at same time as all that, Nezumi cares for Shion, and he knows that realistically his innocence canít last. So he is angry at it because he knows that sooner or later Shion will be in pain when his worldview is shattered, and he doesnít know if either of them can deal with the fall-out. And, the feeling of futility is incredibly torturous.

I think that Nezumi didnít argue with Shion wanting to go to the Correctional Facility because he had to know what would happen to Shionís personality. But he realised when it was too late that he didnít want Shion to change. Why didnít he want Shion to change? Because Shion as he knew him was a source of hope and stability. Also, because he loved Shion as he was. The other thing is, even though he had been expecting it, I think he must have been disappointed when Shion revealed his aggressive side. But not disappointed in Shion - disappointed in himself, relying on Shion so much and putting him on this pedestal.  Nezumi made fun of Shion, but he also idealised him. The problem was that he didn't understand him either. Hence this big messy mess of feelings.

When I first watched the anime, before I read the book or the manga, I actually thought Nezumi left Shion because of this loss of innocence he saw. Of course, now I know there are lots of other reasons. But it says a lot that the anime emphasized the disillusionment between the two of them that happened in the Correctional Facility to such an extent. I think it's very important to understanding their interactions, which is why I'm bringing it up. Anyone else's thoughts?

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